Picture Me As . . .

My agent asked for a photo of me to add to my bio when she starts pitching my book at the end of the month. One would think that’s not something to stress over. One obviously doesn’t know me.

The last day or so I’ve been looking for an already-taken, updated photo of moi. And you know what I found? There aren’t any. Not any good ones, at least. I’m the photographer in the house. If I’m in a photo, it’s usually me with one of the Gremlins, and it’s usually taken by one of the Gremlins. Which means it’s off-center, or sideways, or mostly white-space with my eyeball in the lower left-hand corner. Not exactly something I can staple to my bio and call good.

So nix the whole updated photo idea. Rewind and find something maybe not-so-up-to-date, but useable. The photos here and on my website are good, but a bit outdated – um, okay, a lot outdated. They were taken about five years ago. In actuality, I look pretty much the same. I’ve been told I have a youthful face, and I still get carded all the time, so I suppose the pictures still work. And these photos are so dang small, who can tell they’re outdated? But they aren’t going to do for my bio either because, well, they’re five years old.

Fast forward a bit, looking for a picture of me alone, no Gremlins, something between 2002-2006. I should be able to find something, right?

Looking through the pile, there’s one of a very pregnant me from about two years ago. (Let’s not go there.) One of me in my bikini from our vacation this summer. (Hmm…while it worked for Reese Witherspoon when she wanted to get into Harvard, probably not gonna work for me on a sale. I ain’t no Reese.) Keep looking…There’s one of me holding a monkey in Mexico. (Monkey + Mexico = contract? Probably not.) And my favorite, taken just this summer in Atlanta before the Rita’s – me kicked back, feet on the desk, wine in hand, laughing my head off in the hotel room. Actually, this one fits the requirements: me, alone, up-to-date and not half-bad. Of course, if I were to use it, I’d have to add “lush” to my bio. Probably not a wise choice.

I guess there’s no way around having a new photo taken. *cringe* Think a snapshot will work? Or should I go have it taken by someone who knows what they’re doing?

Ah, decisions, decisions.