Okay, it’s not the WIP. It’s me. I can’t seem to muster up enough enthusiasm to finish this darn thing. And I’m sooo close. Seriously, like a chapter away from writing THE END. I thought it was my setting. So I changed that and was able to finish chapter 22. But now I’m stuck in the middle of 23, and it’s not that I’m stuck – the scene is percolating, I know what’s going to happen, and I want to write it…I just…can’t…seem…to…finish…it.
Maybe it’s because I know when I type THE END, I’m not really done. I have rewrites and the first three chapters need to be totally reworked. Holy crap, if I ever get published and have to sell off proposal I’m going to be in big trouble. Get me into chapter four and I’m cookin’…the characters come alive. But my Achilles Heel is the first three chapters. (Fabulous. Any agent who happened to google me just went, ‘okay, she’s off my list.’)
Or maybe it’s because I’m too focused on submissions I have out right now. Although I try not to be, I can’t help but be frustrated with how slow the publishing world works. I want answers now! I can handle rejection, just give it to me so I can rant and then get over it. (The little voice inside my head is saying, “Deal with it and move on, Elisabeth.” But for some reason, I’m not listening.)
But I think what’s really holding me up is I know too much about what it takes to get pubbed. I’m searching for an agent who will love my work, but that’s no guarantee I’ll ever make it. Want a little reality about landing an agent? Check this out – Misadventures in Misrepresentation. Lauren Baratz-Logsted is on her 6th agent. 6th! And she finally had an agent sell a book (she sold five on her own though – no thanks to her previous five agents). How depressing is that? Very.
And all of this is weighing heavily on my mind today when I should be sitting here working on chapter 23. Instead, I’m checking my email, wondering when I’m ever going to hear anything and trying to decide if hearing anything will really help me in the long run.
And in the meantime, the cursor is still blinking at me from page nine of chapter 23.